Delusions & Thoughts

Okay, so it’s been awhile since I posted. What can I say - it was a good hockey season!

Lately I have been trolling through the online personals and wondering why I’m getting nowhere. Then a thought crossed my mind. What is the real problem?

I know my issue is the fact I have high expectations and unrealistic delusions thinking there needs to be some exciting story. If I want a story I should become a writer, because that’s the only real way it would happen. The further I thought about what I was viewing, the more frustrated I became. Society has lost its ability to communicate. Think about it. Most divorces you hear about these days boil down to that simple fact. The opportunities I know I haven’t taken - besides lack of confidence - boil down to a lack of communication. You would think with the advent of the internet, text messaging and cellular phones people would be better at communication. And then, is that all that is to blame? No. I think not. Lets go back to another simple device. Television. Its been scientifically proven that your brain basically shuts down when you watch it. No original thoughts prevail when you watch the mind numbing box. Now, I am guilty of watching it too. But its also been proven that it is a contributing factor to the obesity epidemic. Which is totally detracting from my original point, but anyway.

So, I’m trolling through these ads - seem like nice enough guys, some of them - and I think back to the last few online guys I have actually met. They were decent guys - most of them - but they really left no impression on me. Communication stopped and I really wasn’t too upset over it. Some were entirely too co-dependant for my tastes, and others just seemed indifferent to begin with. We are all doing the same old song and dance and yet at random intervals someone manages to find that person that gets them. It appears we get along on “paper,” but there is a severe lack between reality and the “paper.”

I had a discussion recently about how people meet these days. it’s a general consensus that the bar is not the place to meet high quality people. I got involved with a local organization, to no avail on the singles front; I work with mostly women so that won’t fly. Those of us that don’t go out much are screwed. I was involved with different organizations during college, but most of the guys that were part of those groups were taken and some of the others, eh. I have yet to locate in reality or in discussion places where people meet these days. My general theory over the internet is that its overrated. It’s a bunch of people being elitist over a simple picture. Good or bad. Half the time people probably don’t get past viewing a picture. And then you have people who were never very good at “selling” themselves to begin with and now they have to do it toward people who are judging them on a picture anyway. It’s no different than life. People judge based on what they see before they even talk to you.

People may say to get out to fairs, festivals, and concerts. Been there done that. I guess I just blend in too much, although what I keep telling people is I’m just picky. Which is also true, but how can one afford to be picky when no one’s payin attention anyway? And those that are payin attention, don’t have the balls to do anything about it.

In the words of Saving Jane:

“This is what you get
This is who I am
Take me now or leave me
Any way you can
Sometimes I trip and fall
But I know where I stand
And if you're thinking about changing my direction...
Don't mess with Imperfection.

My back is weak
But my will is true
Got good intentions but I never follow through
I say too much
Don't know when to leave
In case you're looking that's my heart there on my sleeve

Ego trips and stupid slipups, I'm a mess but..

This is what you get…”